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What You're Actually Thinking About During Work Meetings
Nov 09, 2016
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Whether they're weekly, monthly or just for slow, mid-day torture, work meetings are where attention spans go to die. (And where elaborate daydreams are born!) From meticulously calculating the exact number of seconds until it's over to feigning your best "engaged listening" face, a meeting has the uncanny ability to bring out the best (but mostly the worst) in all of us. While everyone's internal monologue is different, the one thing we're definitely not thinking about during work meetings is ... work. Here's a list of 40 thoughts we've all had while nodding and smiling our way through those pesky team meetings:
1. This thing better not roll through lunch. 2. Lol roll. I see what I did there. 3. Do I even want a sandwich though? 4. Pizza, definitely pizza. 5. But also tacos. It's Tuesday. Instagram caption-wise, that's the smart decision.
6. Maybe I'll just get a salad. 7. *chuckles to self* Silly rabbit, salad is for rabbits. 8. Congratulations, I just played myself. 9. Did she just ask me a question? No yeah, she's definitely looking right at me. 10. "Yup, the numbers look great." 11. Why did I say that? I don't even work with numbers. What numbers would I have been referring to?!
12. Whatever, Julie. We all know you've been stealing tea from the break room. 13. What does she need with that much Morning Thunder? Probably helps waking up every morning as Julie. 14. That was mean. Give her a reassuring head nod to make up for it. 15. Ugh, sometimes I'm such a good person. 16. What time is it even? We've been in here for hours! 17. Omg it's been fifteen minutes. 18. This is it. This is how I die. Of boredom next to Sweaty Steve. 19. Here Lies Employee #00079929: He died as he lived, thinking about food.
20. Don't. Yawn. Don't. Yawn. Don't Ya- 21. Whelp, that was the biggest yawn in the history of yawns. I'm getting fired. 22. Meeting Drinking Game: Take two sips every time someone says, "Let's circle back on this."
23. What does that even mean? Sorry for the delayed response, but I have no idea what's happening right now. 24. If only this coffee was tequila and this conference room was a beach and everyone in this room was Jimmy Buffett. 25. Lol a room full of Jimmy Buffetts. A Buffett Buffet. 26. Okay, five minutes just passed. Gotta get through that four more times and then I'm out.
27. Honestly, I'm not even sure what this meeting is about. 28 I've definitely never met the dude speaking right now. Does he even work here? 29. Could he be a celebrity and I just missed the introduction? 30. Yeah, they brought in a real A-lister to go over this month's budget cuts. 31. There is nothing left on the agenda, how are people still talking?!
32. 100% chance this was a coordinated effort to delay me getting tacos. 33. I can literally taste the tacos. Someone put an end to this. 34. Big boss is standing up. It's over. We're free. 35. Just kidding, it's someone in Accounting's birthday. I'm jumping out this window Tommen from
Game of Thrones
style. 36. There's a cake! Things just got interesting, people.
37. Honestly, I love everyone in this room. 38. Happy birthday random lady from accounting! 39. Cake! Cake! Cake! 40. Aaaand it's Carrot cake. I quit.
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